time machine??!?!??!

some fuckers down in oklahoma just dug up a car they buried 50 years ago as a time capsule. the car was basically ruined, and the story basically sucks. until you hit THIS gem of a paragraph:

From the trunk, organizers pulled out some of the objects buried to celebrate Oklahoma's 50 years of statehood -- a 5-gallon can of leaded gasoline, which went for 24 cents a gallon in those days, and rusted cans of Schlitz beer.

The contents of a "typical" woman's handbag, including 14 bobby pins, lipstick and a bottle of tranquilizers, were supposed to be in the glove box, but all that was found looked like a lump of rotted leather.

LEGENDS ARE MADE OF THIS STUFF! I'M LIVING IN THE WRONG TIME PERIOD! mandatory tranquilizers must return as a staple of womanhood!

i'm adding approximately 14 bobby pins, a tube of red lipstick and a bottle of Valium to my bag immediately. i suggest you all do the same. it's especially delicious on top of vanilla ice cream. i'm just saying!